Briefly amusing

So, there is a show called Torchwood. It is about an organization named Torchwood. Short version: think of it as the X-Files with no discernable higher-level oversight and everyone *quite* over the "But--my gosh! Are you saying aliens exist! Such things cannot be!" phase.

Actually, to hell with the X-Files. Think Men in Black. With alien pheromones.

In any case, Torchwood deals with alien artifacts on a semi-regular basis. They have a helpful pamphlet, designed to remind you of certain basic DOs and DON'Ts. For example,

DO choose an examination room. These are isolated, secure chambers in which you can be safely sealed if anything goes wrong, preventing harm coming to your colleagues.

DO consult the JS checklist (especially sections "Gun, cooker or iron?" and "Telling front from back")

DON'T point it at colleagues, even in jest. Fatalities may result in disciplinary hearings.

DON'T guess what it does. Just because it looks familiar, doesn't mean it is (for more information, see pamphlet "The Toothpick that Ate Henry").

I am pleased.